Headless Nude Women

Why did Dunlop ever think this was a good idea?

Ruth Livingstone
4 min readJun 28, 2014

This morning I woke up to a mini Twitter-storm about … golf tees.

Yes, something that Dunlop is selling has got my fellow women tweeters rather upset. But, GOLF TEES?

Of course I had to find out exactly what was going on …

And this is what I found.

Who could possibly resist a headless, naked, female tee?

Yes, Dunlop is selling sets of mini, plastic, headless, female torsos. To be used as golf tees.

I don’t play golf, so bear with me, but isn’t a tee something you balance a golf ball on the top of? And so these headless nudes would have a temporary head - a circular, white dimpled thing - for a golfer to swing his club at with the aim being, presumably, to decapitate the woman.

OK. Now these things really are selling on the Dunlop web site, on Amazon and on E-bay. It is not a spoof. They exist. And reading the product reviews, it becomes apparent that many of these decapitation tee sets are being bought by women as a gift. Indeed, many of them were bought to be given as father’s-day gifts.

What is going on in the head of a woman who thinks this is a great idea?

In case you are in any doubt, this is how a golfer should actually use a nude, headless, female tee:

Illustration of how a brainless man should use a headless woman.

Now, to be fair to Dunlop, I doubt they woke up one morning and thought:

“Let’s design the most sexist, misogynistic, violence-excusing, woman-degrading, golfing gift for men that we can come up with?”

No, the conversation probably went like this.

“Let’s think of something really cool for father’s day that combines the three things men love the most: women, beer and sport.” “How about a naked woman golf tee?” “Wow, great idea!” “Can we work beer into that somewhere?” “Hmmm. Let’s think…” “No.” “Ah, shucks.” “Well, never mind. Two out of three ain’t bad.”

Somewhere during the design stage, someone must have realised that it’s not possible to balance a golf ball on top of a female head. The only way to get the golf ball to stay where it should be is to … let me think … um, this is tricky.. but hang on… I’ve got it. Simple. Take the head off! Problem solved.

It is at this point that alarm bells should have started ringing. Somebody should have said, “Uh, no. I don’t think we should be encouraging the decapitation of women, even in fun.” But it seems that nobody at Dunlop (or in any of the other headless-naked-women, golf-tee sellers that I have come across) thought about the implications of this novelty toy or how it might be perceived.

There will be those who think I should lighten up and get a sense of humour. I am being slightly too prickly aren’t I? This is all harmless fun. Sheesh, some women are far too ready to cry “sexism” these days.

Well here is a little tip: a way to check if your idea is sexist. Substitute a black person — and see if you could be accused of racism.

Do you want to decapitate a naked black person?

Do you see the problem now?

As the Twitter clamour gets louder, I expect Dunlop will decide to take down this product soon. And so, just in case you don’t believe me, I will leave you with a screenshot from their website to prove it existed:

Someone thought this was a good idea.

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Ruth Livingstone

I was an NHS GP for 25 years. Studied creative writing at Birkbeck University. Now walking around the British coastline in very slow stages.